I love moments in films. The bus scene in Almost Famous. John Cusack holding up the boombox. Falling Slowly being played in the back of a music store. While they don't tell the whole stories they are a part of, they serve as the icons by which we remember them.
The most recent film I saw at Sundance, Adam, has a few moments that I will remember long after the credits were done rolling. Being here at Sundance Film Festival, I felt it pointless to talk about films that few people can actually see, but with the announcement that Fox Searchlight bought this film yesterday, I'm sure this will be out soon. What grabbed me about this film, amidst the romantic moments of a not so simple love story, were the disarming moments where this story gives you a clear glimpse of what a life in NY is like for a mid-twenties male with Asperger's trying to make sense of his life.
When asked about the film, and inspiration for the story, thefilmmaker, Max Mayer, talked about hearing a story about a boy withAsperger's describe his life and interaction with society as, "Feelinglike the whole world had an inside joke that he wasn't in on." And it'sthat moment that my heart sank. Both because he was describing Adam'sexperience, and because I've had moments where I know exactly what he'stalking about. As we long for authenticity, we find ourselves trappedinside our own heads, and paralyzed by our own neurosis and unable toescape.
The joke is really on us though, not Adam. The joke is that we craveopen, honest, and authentic relationships, but are constantly playingthe angles with most people we meet. Adam, the young man with a limitedemotional vocabulary, is able to experience intimacy that many peopleonly dream of simply because he doesn't know how to hide anything. Andwhat I crave, in the midst of honestly and authenticity, is for peopleto love me in the midst of everything. I'm not interested in someonebeing able to "look past my imperfections". I want someone to starestraight at them and love me. Period. This is what makes Beth, Adam'sneighbor, so unique - her ability to not work around Adam's emotional limitations, but to work with them. The difference, while subtle, is extraordinary. She doesn't hatehis Asperger's - she needs to learn communicate with him differently,and she does. To want to look around, or see past his Asperger's is tolook past something that is integral and essential to who Adam is.Adam, like me, doesn't wants to be seen, and known, and loved.
Adam will be described as a sweet and quirky take on theromantic comedy, but underneath that, it are all of our cries toexperience real, authentic relationships with unblushing honesty andopenness.
