(58) Days of Summer: A Full(er) Picture

The online world has produced some interesting dilemmas for bloggers over the last decade.  While the blogosphere exists primarily for personal reflection and/or opinion, the information revealed can often affect the very people and/or situations in which they speak.  I find myself in this dilemma.  At the same time, I have discovered what withholding or hiding can do to my very being-something I am assuming those who know me understand.  The following is an attempt to move past the “stifled-ness” that has thrived over the past month.

I concluded my last post with the realization that only communicating highlights from a particular week of the summer can be quite misleading.  The third week at Castaway this July not only represented some of my favorite memories of the summer, but it embodied some of the hardest.

I have been debating about posting this information due to the social tendency to ignore sensitive issues in favor of (only) portraying the bright side.  This is sad to me and cannot bring myself to consciously participate in such manipulation when it comes to speaking about my own life.  This said, I am fully aware that it is impossible to “fully” represent oneself via any medium – especially one’s personal blog.  However, I do believe it becomes “worthy of the story” when it becomes a prominent reality.  Here are two “not-so-good” prominent realities that arose within the (58) days of summer.

As mentioned earlier, I was given the privilege of speaking to roughly 1000 students over the month of July.  I have loved these opportunities over the last few years as I have felt as if I was in a space that truly fit my gifting and interests.  I cherish the countless large and small conversations I had with students from across the county.

During the second week of this speaking assignment, I received a visit from one of my bosses.   This visit was (primarily) prompted by a personal decision to speak “differently” (the briefest way I can put it) than was the expected norm.  I welcomed the visit as I had been encouraged by the dialogue and movement that was taking place between those doing things “differently” and those in position of decision.  The visit was a surprisingly good experience (at least I thought so).  However, as the week came to a close, I received news (via another party) that unless I conformed to a couple of mandated changes, I would be removed from my speaking assignment.  Needless to say, I was quite disappointed with such news – not necessarily by some of the required “changes” (for I was aware they might show up), but that anything I was doing (or not doing) was worthy of removal. Obviously, this was (and is) a serious threat.  One that has been hard for our family.  One in which we are still dealing.

This information came just a few days prior to what was actually worse news.  During the middle of the “great/not-great” third week of Castaway, our staff found out that our Vice President (Gail Ebersole) had lost her job.  This was a serious blow both personally and professional – as Gail is not only a dear friend but one of my biggest advocates in my current role.  Gail was one of the primary reasons I (along with many others) had been given the space to “re-think” what presenting the Gospel at a Young Life camp might look like.  I am indebted to the encouragement and trust she instilled and will never be the same as a result.  I am still mourning her absence from Young Life and have serious questions (that I hope to be able to ask) regarding her removal as the information I have in conjunction with my “gut” (Is this worth anything?), I believe an unwarranted move was made.  But a move that has happened none the less.

And now I find myself living within these unfortunate realities.

But let’s not kid ourselves.  These are not only the dual realities of an organization – they are the dual realities of life.  There are things to celebrate.  There are things to mourn.  There are things to go along with.  There are things to call out.  It simply the way things are.

This is not an attempt to “discredit” anyone for I understand there is always another side to the story, but it is an attempt to authentically (and briefly) represent a “fuller” picture of both my summer and the organization in which I work.   The question remains, do we really want the fuller picture?

I understand some might not.  For this, I respect.

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Disclaimer: To be fair, I respect the right for any organization to maintain their various positions and understand these are not represented here.  Know that any “mandates” I hinted at are well thought out and worthy of a conversation… my thoughts here are not (necessarily) in disagreement with them, simply a response of frustration that they were worthy of my removal (which did NOT happen by the way). We are still in dialogue.

In addition, this post in no way diminishes the excitement and passion I continue to have for navigating life alongside the many students both near and far.  (Again, here.)  Nor does it negate my enthusiasm for the amazing interns in the Chicagoland Region.  It’s simply a part of the story.

Thanks for amusing me… much better.

Related Post: (58) Days of Summer:  Part I

(58) Days of Summer

58 days ago I departed Wheaton for Young Life’s Castaway in Detroit Lakes, MN. And as summer comes to a close – and after spending 6 weeks “away” this summer (with few to no opportunities to write), I thought I would offer a few reflections over the next few days. Here they are.

Castaway Club: 06.26.09 – 07.28.09

When we broke the news to our kids over dinner one night that we would be spending a month at Castaway, the reaction was elation. When I asked the girls why they were so excited, Grace (9) responded: “Sometimes when I am at school and at play dates, I feel a little shy… at Castaway, I feel safe.”

And this is what we love about summers at Castaway – the welcoming nature of intentional(ish) community. This is not to say that this does not take place back home, but it is to recognize that there is something special about 80+ people consistently looking out for one another – and in particular, our kids.

For this, we say “thanks”.

Refugee Week: 07.11.09 – 07.18.09

I have figured that I have spent close to a year of my life at Castaway – and the third week at Castaway would prove to be one of the most unique. This would be the first time I both had an official job (speaking) alongside playing the role of “leader”. As I have shared before, I spent last year working with a number of refugee students from our community. Through a series of events (and a few generous donors), we were able to bring 13 students (Karen, Somalian, Congonese, and Liberian) during this particular week at Castaway. With some serious help from some amazing volunteers, it ended up being the highlight of the month. Here’s why.

I learn more from them than they do from me. After my first (quite amazing) night one talk, I asked the boys what percent of the words they actually understood.

They said 25%.

I found this rather interesting. Here I am – my primary job to communicate the Gospel via words – and the folks I am leading only understand 25% of what I am saying. Well, if you know me… you know I am quite okay with this reality because I do not believe the Gospel resides (simply) in words. If it did… we’d all be in trouble.

But before I take this tangent here (maybe another day), allow me to offer a few memorable moments:

Day 1: When I asked our cabin of guys to go back and change for the “obstacle course”, they returned blank stares… “Obstacle course?” I might has well be saying “corn-on-the-cob”. I attempted to explain a half dozen ways only to end with… “Well, you’ll see.” We went. We dove in. And soon after getting hit by various throwing objects, they understood.

My favorite part of the evening was ending our o-course journeys with a dip in the hot tub. It did not cross my mind that most of the students had no concept of a “HOT” tub. As they hopped in feet first (as if it were a pool), they soon found out… we laughed.

Experience is everything.

Day 3: Night 3 would prove to be an interesting night. Soon after we took refuge in our cabin for an hour or so, life stories began to emerge. And eventually a question arose: Is there anything you have seen/experienced in your life that you wish did not happen? Personally, this was a rather sobering – as I was given perspective and a small window into some of the harsh realities these kids have experienced (realities that I do not feel comfortable sharing). Realities that I can say little other than they “ought not be”.

This moment was harshly juxtaposed to the subsequent hour – where our group “attempted” to square dance. Now, square dancing is hard to follow if you understand English. Attempting to follow instructions when you don’t… different story. And in the end, the boys would share that this experience was one of their favorites of the week – but it wasn’t before a few toes were stepped on. Much laughter.

Day 5: My lovely wife bakes 500+ Vanilla Bean Cupcakes for the entire camp. I said it was for an “illustration”, but really I knew the world would be a better place if everyone had a chance to experience. This was true. Everything was better. My wife is ridiculously wonder-full.

Day 7: The last day together I was reminded that I take life’s simple pleasures for granted… say, how to eat a baked potato. Our meals together throughout the week reflected similar experiences. The refugee boys discovered new food. We (Brendan, Will, and I) discovered cultural realities (both here and afar).

Hands down the highlight of the week (personally speaking) took place just prior to departure. You see, we had all engaged in a few conversations surrounding the idea of “embrace” (mostly stemming from watching this video). It was in these conversations that I learned that the Karen (people group in Burma) community in particular is not a community of “embrace” or “hugs”. This meant all the more when just before they took off on the bus, they arose to embrace me with an unspoken “thanks”.

Who needs words?

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If Week 3 at Castaway simply stayed as “the highlight” of the summer… I’d be lying. If it is possible for one week to be your favorite and worst, it was this one… more on in a day (or so)…